Date: 2001-07-01
Time: 12:22 p.m.
My current mood is:
whining about my childhood
I talked to Jim yesterday, and apologized for making such a bid deal out of things the other day. I told him that it's not him, I just always think everyone hates me, so when I ask him that all the time, it's cause I honestly think he does hate me. He said it was ok, and he apologized for snapping at me. Then I told him my little sob story of when I was little. How when I was younger, I didn't have a lot of friends, but I did have some, I had like my little group and I was happy with that. But my dad was pissed cause I wasn't all popular, and for years tried to get me to have more friends. He would force me to call up random people in my classes, that I wasn't even friends with, and ask them to hang out! How embarrising is that?? The thing is, I never had a problem with the amount of friends I had, only till he told me it was a problem. I mean he always made it like I had no friends, but I did! And he wouldn't allow me to hang out with someone too often. Like me and Julie became best friends in third grade. So natuarally, we wanted to hang out all the time. My dad would actually not let me hang out with her sometimes, saying I had to hang out with other people....it's like, instead of lettting me have a few close friends, he wanted me to have lots and lots of friends that I didn't really care about. Sorry if I'm not miss cheerleader! But anyway, so since then I've always felt like I have no friends and everyone hates me. I wish he would have not told me I didn't have enough friends, cause I was satisfied with the amount I had, and I think I would have felt better about that kind of stuff now. And him making me call up random people...well, you can tell just how popular that made me....I felt like the biggest fool in the world. Ok that's all.
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