Date: 2001-06-28
Time: 8:08 p.m.
My current mood is:
I'm so stupid
Ok, I need to write this really fast. I'm supposed to be at Mike's house right now, but I'm just so upset right now I needed to just write an entry cause I really want to cut myself, a lot. I just got off the phone with Jim. He hates me now, I know it! WHy do I have to be so stupid all the time??? Ok, this is what happened. I asked him if he wanted to hang out. He had just woken up from his nap, and sounded a bit tired, but when I got off the phone from him cause someone was on the other line, I thought what if he's not tired, what if he sounds like that cause he's mad he has to hang out with me?? SO then I remembered the time he said he felt weird hanging out with me, etc. So when I called him back I asked him about that. Then he got all mad and said lets just hang out some other time, you keep making issues, I just wanted to go out and get a drink not make things a big deal and a huge issue, blah blah blah. So I said ok and we got off the phone. AAAHHH!!! Why do I do that? Now he's never going to hang out with me again, cause I just harass him and bother him. And then earlier I wrote that dumb email to John, and then just now I called up Katie and she's not home.....I HAVE NO ONE!!!! I feel so alone. I just want to die. I feel like there is no point to my life, I have no one and nothing, I am pointless. All I do is bother people and make them hate me. I hate everything. I've been trying not to cut, but I really want to right now. Shit, I don't have time to anyway, I gotta go, I'm late.
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