Date: 2001-06-06 Time: 12:18 p.m. My current mood is: I...need....sleep..... I am SO tired! I didn't sleep last night, just stayed up. I don't know why I do this, and (probably from lack of sleep)it's really starting to bother me right now. I mean I didn't even try to sleep. I go to bed at like 5am every night, not cause I can't sleep, but cause I just don't want to...or I just don't sleep at all! And it's not like I'm out partying or anything interesting. I just can't let myself sleep. Sometimes I think about if I didn't sleep for a week what it would be like...kind of like how I am with food! It's like besides limiting my food intake, I now want to limit my sleep intake. I wonder if it's related. Or maybe I'm just being dumb. Fuck, I'm so tired and I still have to exercise for an hour at LEAST. I binged last night big time, and I was doing so well this week! I ate barely anything, which probably caused the binge. Maybe I should not do that, try to eat just as little as possible. I think it works better if I set a certain standard, like I have to actually eat a certain amount each day. I can't believe I pigged out last night, I just ruin everything!! My therapist changed her appointment with me today, which sucks cause I wanted to talk to her today. Especially cause of my grades and stuff, and I've been feeling crappy :( I've just been feeling lately like why bother with anything? What's the point? What is the point of existing even?? I don't see one. I mean I could have my head chopped off right now and I wouldn't care, cause....I dunno, what is the point. Well, still looking for a job, no one is hiring me which SUCKS! Why do all job people hate me??? HIRE ME DAMNIT I NEED A JOB! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: