Date: 2001-05-15
Time: 6:55 p.m.
My current mood is:
I ate >:(
Weakness! I cannot believe I just ate a hotdog! After that little pig out I had at 5am, fuck me! How am I supposed to get thin at this rate?? I mean geez it's only 10lbs, yet for some reason I can't do this? What's wrong with me? Ok, so far today I had those 2 pieces of coffee cake, half an apple, 4 oreos, a big hotdog, a sample of pizza(a tiny piece, doesn't really count), some Gatorade and some Metimucil. Damnit, I wanted to fast for the rest of the day. I sound so shallow right now. But after the hotdog I came home and started flipping through the Victoria's Secret catalogue, and I saw some of the thinnest girls!!! Seriously, I so wish I could look like that, I think there were 2 in particular that looked positivly anorexic, they looked great! Why can't I look slender and delicate? Why must I be blessed with looking like a fucking football player???? I told my therapist that I look like a football player, a couple times ago, and she was like ok well you have a distorted body image. No I don't! I really do look like that I'm huge and gross and I'm going to look like my 400lb aunt :'( Well anyway, I did an hour of Tae Bo earlier and took 2 diet pills earlier, but now because of what I just did I think I will do another half an hour of exercise, maybe aerobics. Plus I just took 3 more diet pills, so maybe I will be able to reverse the damage done.
Leave a message
Last Entry ~ Next Entry
|