Date: 2001-05-07 Time: 10:55 p.m. My current mood is: finals week, yikes! I'm mentally exhausted. From studying? No, lol, though I should be. I just started making this webpage on depression. It's not a personal page, I'm trying to make it like a real webpage, like perfesional looking. But so far, I've only started it this morning so there ain't much on it. Well let's see, John's coming over tomorrow to help move some furniture in my room, I'm psyched that I'm going to finally move it! Damn, this week is finals week. I haven't been doing shit, will I even pass them?? I can't wait till it's just over, then no more having to worry about papers and shit, at least till the summer course I probably am taking. Either way, I'll be glad to work, because it will give me a break, and it will make me more motivated to do well in school, lol. I'm psyched to lose weight though, I just know I'll lose lots of weight when I go work at the Pet Club, I'll lose these 10lbs in no time :) Cause last summer when I worked there, that's when I lost 30lbs in like 2-3 months! The hours make it so easy, I'd work 2-10, so I wouldn't have to eat anything infront of anyone, except for breakfast kinda. I shrunk my stomach sooo much, a regular meal hurt for me to eat. But then again it also took a major toll on my body, I felt like shit constantly. Oh well! 90lbs, here I come! It's weird, cause when I say 90lbs, that sounds like a really low number, but when I was 95 I could definatly see myself at 90 looking fine. I remember when I first started to starve myself, I got to the weight I am now(100lbs), and I actually didn't like it cause I thought I was too thin! I can't believe I thought that. I mean seriously, how in the world could I be too thin looking like this?? I don't even look *thin*, nevermind *too thin*. Weird. By the way, I hope John isn't catching on. On his birthday, I took him out to eat. So I did eat, infact I felt like I stuffed my face, cause I didn't want him to suspect. So I ate so much, then when I finished he says "Is that all you're having?" LIke hello, I just pigged out! I mean I know he doesn't know what's up, but I hate when I put the effort in to eat normal, and then everyone makes it like I'm barely eating anything. Waste of my efforts. But anyway, I hope he catch on, he's a pretty sharp guy, especially being a psychology major and all. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: