Date: 2001-04-09
Time: 8:34 p.m.
My current mood is:
this sucks
I'm so depressed. ::sigh:: There isn't really much to say other then that. I called John, I wanted to hang out with him, maybe he could cheer me up, but he has too much work to do. Oh well. So I've just been sitting around moping. Today I didn't eat anything at all, yay! And tomorrow I might get out of eating to, which is cool. I binged last night on the candy my grandfather gave me. We still have some left, it's tempting me. It's saying "Come on, only a few pieces won't hurt, then we'll be all gone..." Damnit. Whatever, god I'm so stupid, why would I even think about that if I need to lose all this weight?? Whatever.
(12:40AM)- Wondering how I would rather die...OD on drugs or slit my wrists? Hmmmm... tough decisions. Not that I'm going to go kill myself now or anything. But I know one day, eventually I will end up doing it. Not anytime soon of course. But I know one day, I will, I can't imagine not. Why do I even exist? I can't stand being here. You know, I think my anti-depressants are starting to wear off again(gee can you tell?). Maybe next I will try Prozac. I just hope whatever I switch to, it doesn't give me sexual side effects like the Zoloft does, that's annoying. God, and I didn't even do my homework that is due tomorrow, I'm starting to fall behind again(which always happens when the meds wear off). Someone kill me. Ufff, and I binged tonight too. I'm so gross.
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