Date: 2001-03-27 Time: 01:47 p.m. My current mood is: sorry Matt I just did Advanced Tae Bo, damn!! I can't believe I did a full hour of it, wew! This is the first time I've ever been able to do the whole thing, my legs feel like jelly now. This is cool though, cause apparently that burns 800 calories, and so far today I only ate a brownie, plus I took my Metabolife. I'm going to have to do this more often, now that I know I can do it. Today Matt(the guy who wrote me the love poem) asked me if I'm dating John. I was sort of dreading that, well maybe dreading is too strong a word, but I knew that it would be kind of uncomfortable when he finally found out. It's not like I was keeping it a secret, I just feel bad cause I told him I wasn't ready to date anyone, now here I am going out with John. I just don't want him to think I was lying to him or something. Cause it was true, I wasn't comfortable with dating anyone at the time. It's complicated, I guess I just feel comfortable dating John then anyone else. But so anyway, we talked about it. I really respect that about Matt, he's so honest and open, he'll come right out and say anything. That definatly takes balls, to just come out and say you like someone and talk about it with them. But I guess he's dating someone too, this guy Charlie(he's bisexual). He said he wished that neither of us were dating other people though, cause he really really likes me. That's just so weird, I mean he was giving me all these compliments, saying how much life I have in me and how much he likes me! I kept trying to convince him that maybe he's just like, seeing me wrong or something, lol, I just can't believe all those things he was saying. I mean, really, I'm not all that cool! You know, he really does have a way with words, I think that I wouldn't rule out the possibility of dating him in the future, if me and John broke up that is. And I don't want to see both guys at the same time, I mean John and I never actually said no dating other people, but it just wouldn't feel right. Which is odd for me, considering I've always been the one to want to date different people at once. But I'm pretty sure it's a mutual thing, that me and John aren't seeing other people, even though neither of us has actually come out and suggested it. Geez, I can't believe like....I dont' know, I guess the way Matt sees me. He was talking about some cosmic sense or something, I dont' remember lol, and how he has this 6th sense with people and that he can see I actually have a heart inside(I do??), and I have feelings of love in me(really?), like I'm not empty inside. He's a pretty poetic type of guy. I wish John would say stuff like that to me lol! But this doesn't mean I'm like, all into Matt and stuff, I still am glad that I am with John. I wish John would tell me how he feels though, I mean he shows me physically I guess, like always hugging me, and as he says "being cute" with me, which is cool but I'm an insecure type of person I guess, I would like him to verbalize it more. Hmm..Jim was the same way, when I was going out with him he never really talked about how he felt. Oh shit, I have class now, fucking South America, I HATE THAT CLASS! I have to STRUGGLE to not fall asleep in that class, half the time I end up falling asleep anyway lol! Oh well, hopefull the Metabolife will give me enough energy to stay awake. I'm off now! Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: