Date: 2001-02-20 Time: 12:07 a.m. My current mood is: doing work all night whoa! The time is right for once! Lol ok I need to stop paying attention to that dumb thing. Well, here it is, midnight. I'm still working on my papers, got 3 due tomorrow. So far got a page and a half for one of them, and the other I'm using a paper I did for another class, so I just gotta change it around and stuff. I think I'll just stay up all night. Yup, another night of no sleep. Fuck...I've been pigging out nonstop. I wonder if my whole...well, ok, I'll say it, my "ED thing", if it's wearing off or something? Like, "getting better"? I just keep eating and eating, no motivation for dieting lately. Blah. And I've gained all this weight, which I have been constantly bitching about, I think I am like 100-105 now :( Damnit. I should just start taking my diet pills more. But, damnit, I need to do well in school...how can I do well if I'm about to pass out everyday?? Dilemas dilemas. I just wish I could fly away into the sky. I'm sick of daily life, doing homework, going to school, coming home, I just want to become a bird and fly away! Or become a bubble, floating in the air, then pop into nothingness. To become a flame on a candle, and have someone blow me out(ok I didn't mean that in a sexual way lol), into a poof of smoke. I would love to be the steam rising from a really hot cup of tea, twisting and turning into delicate swirls, up into nothingness. But anyway, here I am. God, I have so much work to do, I hate this. I'm tired. Oh well, too bad no sleep for me, that's what happens when you're stupid and procrastinate till your papers are 2 weeks overdue. Man, I would love to be with John right now, to be lying in his bed with him right now would be great. I want to sleep over there sometime, so I can fall asleep in his arms. It's so quiet right now. I wish it were summer so I could hear the crickets outside, that would be nice. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: