Date: 2001-03-06
Time: 04:05:19
My current mood is:
blizzard
I have so much anger and frustration inside. I can feel it, like a rabid wolf ready to burst through me. I don't know what to do when I feel like this. I don't even know why I feel like this. Just this overpowering feeling, that's just sitting there building and building, and I can't let it out. It's weird, cause I want to punch walls and throw things and take a razor and slash my wrists....but the feeling itself is draining, so it has the opposite effect, I just sit and do nothing. It exhausts me. Why do I feel like this? What is wrong with me? Why have I been absolutely loosing my mind the past couple weeks? I want to cut myself again. But not now, I have to work on my paper, and I already am covered with cuts as it is, where else can I do it without John finding out?? I mean I'm already amazed he hasn't seen them yet, if he does he's going to flip, that's what always happens when guys see them. And school...well, I owe like 6 papers!!! I really really hope this blizzard gets really strong and we get 3 feet of snow, I just can't deal with school right now. Next week is spring break, so if we can just get the rest of this week canceled, I'm all set. God, why do I do this? I thought I wanted to go back to school, why run out of steam now?? God, I can't fail out again, such a FAILURE! For once, I need to stick with something, need to just do it. Ok, enough bitching.
Leave a message
Last Entry ~ Next Entry
|