Date: 2001-01-09
Time: 22:32:15
My current mood is:
I look like shit
Well I just got back from therapy. It's so weird...she said that I upset her! Like with the way I eat. It surprised me, she started saying how it upset her, and worried her, and that she felt lost on what to do about it. I didn't think that I could illicit that type of thing from her....I mean she must see lots of patients, why care about each individual one? I mean, it's like she cares about me. It felt nice to hear. But hard to figure out...why? Also, she said that I looked unwell, that she could physically see I didn't eat well. I was very surprised, cause I think I just look normal. She said that I look like I've lost a lot of weight, that my hair wasn't as shiny(lol), and that I looked sickly pale, basicly I look unwell. So basicly she's saying I look like shit. But it makes me happy! I think most people would not be happy about that, but for some reason I'm glad. It's like, I put a lot of hard work into dieting and stuff, and I thought that I look normal and no one would even be able to tell I diet. At least I have something to show for it now, you know? Well good, I don't want to look healthy. And enough with my binging, no more binges till Saterday!! And Saterday, me going out to eat will be considered a binge, so that's it. oh damnit, I need to call people, I keep putting things off! I just want to lie down. I couldn't sleep last night, I fell asleep at like 6am, sucks.
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