Date: Aug. 31, 2004
Time: 11:15 PM
My current mood is:
The walking dead
Yesterday I binge/purged twice. Yes, I did. Of course like I do everytime now, today I decided purging is stupid and I don't want to do it. The thing is, I really can't purge anymore. My digestive system is too shot to hell to be able to handle it. Today felt like I was going to barf, my Chronic Gastritis angrily poking at me to stop once again. Neurotransmitters newly out of wack from the purging, I felt extremely depressed, even suicidal thoughts, today. That always happens, I don't even know why I bother purging if it just makes me horridly depressed. I mean I was depressed anyway. I sort of felt like a ghost today, or some form of walking dead. Disgust at myself for being this weight, unable to make myself stop eating. My sister is living at school this semester, I'm jealous. I want to move out too :( Yeah, I'm moving out in January but STILL, I want to move out nooooow!
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