Date: Nov. 02, 2003
Time: 3:02 PM
My current mood is:
Wandering
I'm such a fat blob. I'm feeling very uncomfortable in my skin lately, moreso the past few days. I just feels so flabby and gross. I complained to Jon about it, but of course he didn't agree with me at all. I swear I have cellulite!! He said I don't though, that he doesn't see it. But I see it, I know it's THERE. Why do I never exercise? I always tell myself I'll start exercising regularly but then I never go. Jon tried to tell me that I'm attractive, and said guys hit on me...which is true, when I'm at this weight guys tend to hit on me more. Not that I care. But so what? To ME it's not attractive. My arms are flabby, I can push the bottom part and it jiggles back and forth. Jon says it's "muscle" or that it's "skin", but whatever it's FAT, and he just feels to ashamed to tell me! I long to be thin. I long for my bones to protrude again.God how easy would it be, to just not eat dinner? My dad just went out. All I'd have to do is not eat. I don't have to.
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