Date: Sept. 23, 2002 Time: 3:08 PM My current mood is: Walking around with a hole in my sock, and I finally talked to my aunt after months!! I've been kinda angry all day for no real reason. My depression is actually starting to lighten up a bit which is good, I was feeling really horrible all last week. What started getting me angry was my camera, hehe. It's broken I think, the film refuses to load right and I need to have a whole roll of film taken by Wednesday! Grrrrr. I swear, I don't think anyone else i know gets as mad at inanimate objects as I do. Currently I'm also mad at water. I tested the pH of my water in my fishtank and it's 8.2!!! And no, I don't have salt water. I'm amazed I actually have tropical fish living in that. Mind you, it went DOWN to 8.2, origionally the pH is 9.1, which is insanely high for tap water to be at. I have been trying and trying to get it down to 7.0 but my water is COMPLETE SHIT(I've managed to fix the alkalinity and hardness problem, out of the tap the buffer copacity is zero and hardness so high it's off the chart), so I'm just going to give up and get African Cichlids again, since them or salt water fish are the only ones that could possibly live in my water. One good thing about my water, is that it's good for saving my teeth from purging! Any stomach acid that thinks it's going to eat away at my teeth, fucking good luck once I rinse my mouth with my water, I wouldn't be surprised if next time I go to the dentist he can't even tell that I throw up(normally they can). Something else that sucked today, I went to pull up my sock cause it was falling off, and when I pulled it upwards it ripped in half! It sucked cause I had to walk around campus and it was really uncomfortable. And also I was 15 minutes late for class cause I underestimated the amount of time it would take me to walk to it. Doh! On a good note I talked to anorex inbetween classes though :) If you're reading this, I hope you're feeling better! Next is all about my grandfather and aunt: I just called my aunt after not speaking to her in months! I talked to my sister on the phone earlier and told her I was going to call out aunt, she said I just HAD to call her after and tell her all about it. And at 4:30 I'm going over there for dinner, aahhh! It's so weird having gone for so long without my grandfather and aunt's drama, I guess I'm speaking to them again now. Ummmm....on the upside, drama makes life more interesting, right? Maybe? And no, I'm not talking like, Lifetime channel for women type of drama, I mean like friggen Freddie Kruger type a shit. My aunt says she dyed her hair a different color(I guess I take after her in that aspect, even SHE doesn't know her real hair color, and my friends I've had forever can't remember my real color), and apparently she's lost some weight. Right. My aunt does this thing where about once a month she'll declare "I lost 5 pounds! Can you tell?". First off, no she didn't. Second, there is no way you can tell a 5 pound weightloss on someone who is around 350 pounds. But we all just say "Oh really? Ya I can tell!" because it makes her feel good. In all honesty, I would pay for her to get her stomach stapled if she wanted to. Seriously, me and my sister both would save up money no matter how long it would take to pay for that. The problem is, for some reason she would never do it, I know it. She kind of likes being morbidly obese even though I know she's unhappy, I guess there's all kinds of psychological undertones to it. I've never seen someone with more eating disorder and weightloss books in my life. Anyway, so we didn't fight, what I did actually worked. I didn't want to talk to her and have her just yell at me, so I just didn't talk to her for months until she started sending me emails saying she would die for me....then I knew she had finally calmed down. She is the biggest drama queen the world has ever known, I mean seriously, if you think you know someone who's a total drama queen, trust me my aunt is 10 times worse. The chances of getting through a conversation without her crying are very slim, and that even applies to her in public. She LOVES balling her eyes out in public. Every emotion she has is amplified by a thousand. Whether it's ranting and raving, acting all happy in a praticly manic state, or crying...usually that all happens in the same visit/conversation. So at least we get a nice mix, right? My grandfather really only has 2 states of being, since he doesn't cry all that much, or if he does it's not a big production. His moods are: nice and funny, or angry and blowing up at you. That's pretty much it. He complimented me today actually, he said that he was worried about my sister with school, but that with me he doesn't worry cause I'm strong, and that I don't take shit, and that I know what I want with school and that nothing will stop me :) That's a lot coming from someone who when I first told him I wanted to go back to school to major in psychology, he said "You'll never make it, never in a million years" to me. God, you know I could talk about them forever. There's sooooooo much to say it's like....like that whole Story of my ED thing I wrote, dude it would be 10 times the length of that. It's no doubt they've had such a big affect on me, and my sister too. Even my friends talk about them lol, cause they are just so mental yet entertaining in an odd way! So I guess I'll see how it goes when I go over there for dinner, I may update on it later. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: