Date: Jul. 21, 2002 Time: 8:45 AM My current mood is: How do I even have a job still? I just woke up a little while ago, whenever I drink I always wake up so damn early! So today I went to work, yesterday I didn't go and didn't even call in, just never showed up. I felt awful about it, and all day at work was really depressed and felt like a horrible person. They're getting sick of my crap, I can tell. I used to be a good employee, now I call in sick all the time or just don't show up. I'm seriously surprised my manager hasn't written me a warning or fired me. I'd fire me. So all day I moped around wishing I'd just kill myself, not speaking to anybody except minimally, and shaking from my diet pills. I kept wondering if I slit my wrists in the bathroom, how long would it take for someone to find me? Probably not all that long, it's a public bathroom after all. I pretty much just stayed away from everyone, I knew everyone probably hates me now and thinks I am a burden. I was surprised though, later on my manager came over and put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I'd had a break in almost a concerned/caring way... I almost burst into tears, had to hold them back. Later on some couple pissed me off. The woman was staring at me!!! Grrrr...I hate when people do that. Then I walked away and came back and her husband and her were BOTH staring at me! I wanted to punch them out. Oh, and Hilary got totally busted! See, Hilary and I always read this girl's online diary/blog that Hilary kind of knows in real life. We found it accidentally. So anyway, we always read it and joke about it, I know that's so rude but god she's so weird and annoying!!! Anyway, so Mike(Hilary's boyfriend) went and TOLD that girl that Hilary reads her diary! I can't believe he did that. Mike's a cool shit, but sometimes he can be a bastard. So that girl left a message in her diary saying "Hi Hilary, I know you read this, how's it going?" and so on, lol! Hilary was bullshit at Mike. Meanwhile, I've never met this girl, so my name wasn't brought up, hahahaha! I went over last night and drank with them, we were all argueing about it. Him and this girl Julie(not my friend Julie, this is a different girl) said it shouldn't be a big deal since she puts in online for anyone to see anyway. That made me think though, my diary is online yet I'd totally freak if anyone I knew found this! Hmmm. I mean true, this is open for anyone to see, but still. Making my disclaimer say something about people from real life would be dumb too, cause seriously if someone I know read the disclaimer and it said not to read it, they'd still read it anyway. I would. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: