Date: Jul. 19, 2002 Time: 6:42 PM My current mood is: Murky What's going on with Diaryland today? I think my diary is the only one that got messed up, oh well. I just feel so... I don't know. I"m supposed to be at work right now, but I fell asleep and slept through work AGAIN!! I'm such a fucking idiot! They're going to fire me, I know it. I call in sick all the time, don't show up constantly, when did I become like this? I never used to do this. I even set my alarm so I would wake up in time, I must have set it to am instad of pm, doh! I am working part time, and can barely handle it.... now THAT'S a problem! I want to cut myself so bad right now, I just don't know what else to do. The phone keeps ringing but I'm too afraid to answer it incase it's my work, I have no idea what to say to them. I know I should call them ASAP and say some excuse, but I just want to ignore ignore ignore, if I pretend something isn't happening does that mean it really didn't? I have no excuse. I'm completely irresponsable. Why am I like this? Normally when I feel like cutting and I write in my diary the feeling disappears, but right now it's still here and I don't know what to say to make the feeling stop. I just changed my shirt, that way it doesn't look like I've been wearing the same clothes for 2 days in a row. Was wearing my mom's old Mickey Mouse shirt shehad given to me(she wore it when she was my age!), now wearing my "Alcatraz Psycho Ward Outpatient" shirt. I am dismayed to see that I finally need to throw away my Pee Wee Herman shirt, the picture is all crapped up and ripping apart. I want another one damnit! Don't even know what to say. Is there anything I can? Right now my world is a murky grey, I have nothing, I am nothing. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: