Date: Apr. 03, 2002
Time: 11:41 PM
My current mood is:
Too much
Ok of course I wrote an entry then when I pressed Done it got erased....gee thanks Diaryland. It was just me being really stressed out. I still am, I don't know if I have the energy to write it all out again. Just stressing over tomorrow, tomorrow I am going over my grandfather/aunt's house to eat dinner. It's so stressful to hear them talk the way they do, saying things like they wish my father was dead. And they want me to agree with them....how can I agree with that?? It just hurts how they say how much they hate him and bad mouth him up and down the whole time. I don't always like my dad very much but it's still painful to hear that. They want me to take their side, but my dad wants me to take his side, I just don't want to be a part of any sides at all. Of course in the end they will all end up hating me for this. I know it, they will all be mad at me, it will all be my fault. God, and my dad says he is breaking ties with them, I don't know what to do cause I am in the middle. What originally got me thinking about this was that I was worried about eating dinner tomorrow. They're going to make me eat all this fattening food, way too much. Hopefully I can hide some of it when no one is looking. All this STRESS!!! It's making my shoulder hurt, cause my muscles are tense. Oh, speaking of which, my shoulder was healed today by a witch! Hilary's roommate Vanessa did it. She says she is a natural healer. She's the one that read my palm awhile ago. I can move my arm now! No she didn't do any magical spells, she took this special oil and rubbed my shoulder, she knew the spots that I was fucked up and it's a LOT better now. This stress is making it worse again though, I need to chill out. Well I took 2 codiene that Hilary gave me, hopefully that will help calm me down. Mmmmmm...pain killers....
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