Date: Jan. 17, 2002
Time: 9:31 PM
My current mood is:
Searching
I've been sitting around in my pajamas all day, I'm such a geek. I guess I've just been to depressed to bother getting dressed or doing anything. I actually did have work today but I called in sick, I was just too tired and miserable to go. Well, the tired part was from last night, Hilary and I went to the goth/industrial club. I haven't gone there in awhile, so it was cool to go. On the way home I realized that I hadn't really gone out anywhere all month long! Just been working. So that was cool, I totally wore myself out dancing. While I was there I found myself searching, searching to see if there were any guys I might like. I also realized I was looking for someone who looked like John. I wish I could find someone who looked like him, and who acted like him too. Or maybe I just wish I could be with him again. The past few days I seem to have given up my ideas on wanting to be alone, I find myself wishing I had someone. Not just anyone, someone I was inlove with, The One. Will I ever find someone to be inlove with? Someone of course who would be inlove with me? I feel like I am destined to be alone. Not necessarily without relationships ever, but in terms of love, alone. I can just never find the right person. All my friends of course are happily married or in a relationship with someone they are in love with and probably will marry. I guess I just kind of envy that.Right now I'm holding my snake. He's 4 feet long still, just measured him. He's such a cutey! The past few days I've been a vacume with food, sucking in everything in site. An obese woman has taken over my soul! Gross.
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