Date: Dec. 17, 2001 Time: 10:49 PM My current mood is: My fucking dad and my fucking aunt As I walked past my fathers done, I heard him say to my sister "Well I would hope you will wait till marraige to have sex". I HATE that!!! My dad has the most asshole views on sex. He states that anyone who has sex outside of marraige is a slut, a whore. Fucking egotistical bastard. You can't go around labeling people, especially when it's most of the population! How many people wait to have sex till they're married? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, quite the contrary what I'm saying is that it doesn't matter whether you do or don't, it's everyone's individual preference. But to label people as whores when most people have had sex outside of marraige....then the word whore has no meaning, therefore why even bother saying it? The thing is I hate that he is such a hypocrite. He's had sex before he was married, but he just says he regrets it now, he looks back and knows it was wrong. Fuck that! Rightious bastard. Just pisses me off. I've had sex with 7 guys, I bet if I told him that I'd be kicked out of the house, even though I'm 22 years old and far from being a child. To some 7 may sound like a lot, to others may sound normal, whatever, I don't care. I only regret one of them. Most were in the context of a relationship, only 2 weren't, they were friends of mine though, I don't go bangin people I don't even know. Even those 2, now I wouldn't do that, back then I was a bit more wild, now only in a relationship. Earlier my aunt called. I could compaire her to a vulture, sitting there waiting for the oppertunity to peck at her pray. Like a tiger, waiting for just the right moment to pounce. It's true. She always asks loaded questions, questions that it isn't honest curiosity, she is plotting, planning, setting me up. She asks "So what did Bud get you for Chanukah?", but not in the way Katie or Julie would. She asks, then waits for my answer, waiting, HOPEING that I say nothing, so she has a chance to pounce and lay in on me how Bud is a horrible person, why do I go out with him, giving a guilt trip to him through me. I hate that. It's the same thing when she asks "So, when was the last time you called your grandfather?", I can almost see her smirk through the phone, waiting for me to answer so she can rip me apart. I hate her "set up" questions, specificly asked so she can unleash her bitchiness. So when she asked what Bud had gotten me, I told the truth, I said "I have no idea, I haven't seen him in weeks." The thing is, if he had not gotten me anything, and I had said that, she wouldn't have gotten mad at the fact that it hurt me or something, but just on the fact that in her world, people are expected to do certain things. Infact MANY things. And if you slip up, you must get reamed jout for it. You must be "taught a lesson". She wants me to say no, just so she can treat me like a child and say "Well don't you think he should have?" And I would have felt ashamed. The ashamed feeling I always get when she gives me guilt trips, or tries to make me admit what I did was wrong, which is CONSTANTLY. "Don't you think what you did was wrong?" "Am I right?" She loves the satisfaction of getting you to admit she is right, and I hate that. I hate her manipulativeness. With her things always have to be about right and wrong, you can never just BE. I know it seems like a simple question of "What did Bud get you?" seems harmless, innocent, but it's not. Not when I can hear her waiting, waiting for my answer so she can say it's not good enough, so she can say "That's it? Nothing else?" just to prove that I am once again incapable, incapable of doing things for myself, such as pick a boyfriend. Because to her I am incapable, to her I am mearly a 3 year old, always needing to be taught right from wrong, because she STILL TELLS ME THAT, because she still says to me when someone gives me something "Now say thank you"...shaming me, because obviously I wouldh ave said thank you had she not beaten me to the punch, and now when I say it, it looks like it is because she told me to, or when I go to my grandfather's, as I walk in she'll say "Now go give your grandfather a hug and kiss, and tell him you love him", because that is the way she communcates with me, like one would to a 3 year old. And I'd think anyone would be pretty fucking sick of being talked to like a 3 year old after all these years, don't you? Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: