Date: Dec. 03, 2001
Time: 3:04 PM
My current mood is:
my sister and dieting
Last night, my sister came in the room to tell me that when I go food shopping next time, to get more veggies. She said that all we have to eat is junk food, and she is hungry, but she can't have carbohydrates before bed anymore cause carbs stick to your body and you don't burn as many calories while you are sleeping. This caused me pain, internal pain, to hear this. I almost felt like crying, but I didn't, I haven't cried in awhile. It just bothers me to no end at how close my sister is to having an Eating Disorder. It's like she's standing so close to the edge of the cliff, about to fall off. The bad part is, I can't say anything to her about it. Just me mentioning it would make her so extremly happy, and she would talk like that even more. It's weird. It's like she enjoys the attention of people thinking she might have an ED, or that she thinks she needs to be on a diet. The thing she wants to hear is me saying "But you're so thin, you don't need to be on a diet". That's why she says things like that in the first place. So I think it's better to just not say anything at all, because then at least she will stop talking like that. It's a negative attention thing. Like the time my cousin offered us candy bars. She was about to take one when he joking around said "Ya, you probably don't even want one cause you're on a diet or something". So immedieatly she said "Oh, um, ya, that's right, I'm on a diet, and I can't have one cause they are too many calories!" with a big grin on her face. I dont' understand why she's like that. I'm the complete opposite. Here I am, trying as hard as possible for people not to notice my obsession with dieting and food, and trying never to mention it, and here is my sister trying as hard as possible for people to think she has an obsession with dieting, but she actually doesn't have one! I know she doesn't think she's fat. She loves being thin. What she loves even more is other people telling her she's thin. In reality, she doesn't really care about dieting, cause she doesn't need to. I need to start getting ready for school now.
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