Date: Sept. 03, 2001
Time: 12:20 PM
My current mood is:
feeling annoyed
I feel weird right now. I don't know why, and I can't even explain what type of weird I feel. I feel so uncomfortable, I think? Today I have work, but again I have not shown up for it. Maybe that's why I feel weird. Day two of me ditching work. I feel really bad about that, but oh well. AAaggghhhhh, I feel so annoyed! I want to slice a giant gaping wound into my arm, and see if I bleed to death or if it will clot. That would be interesting to see. I don't know why I'm thinking this, no particular reason really. Oh, the other day Bud finally asked me about my scars. He told me that he had known about them since the second day we met, that he knew what they were. So at first I tried to lie about them, but then I was like no that's a lie, they're self inflicted. So he's cool with it, he said he has lots of friends who do that. Uffff, why am I thinking about cutting right now? Maybe it's cause I haven't puked anything I've eaten today, when I've eaten all crappy shit like ice cream and stuff. Last night I ate nachos and dip all night while I drank, but I couldn't puke cause I was over someone's house, damnit! So I'm feeling especially chunky today. I'm so gross. And now Bud wants to hang out today, and I don't want him to touch my gross stomach! He ALWAYS touches my belly, I wish he wouldn't. It sticks out, I look like I'm pregnant for godsakes, like 8 months pregnent! Ok maybe that's an exaggeration. But still. well that's all I guess.
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