Date: 2000-12-21
Time: 19:57:44
My current mood is:
icecream
Ew, I'm so gross. In the past 3 days, I've finished off a box of ice cream!! Actually, not even 3 days, cause I bought it in the evening, and today is the afternoon, so really like 2 days. Normal people would be grossed out! I feel like I couldn't help it though, the ice cream was beckoning to me...eat me eat me eat me! Well at least it's gone now. It's cold, brrrr. I've been having bad dreams lately, I wonder why. Not that I normally have good dreams anyway. Why can't I get out of this non-purging bulimic bullshit??? I mean, I don't want to actually say that I'm that, but that's basicly what it is. Like eat tons, then starve, then eat tons again, starve again. I'd like to just go back to ana, much better that way. Well I'm going to the Bahamas on Sunday. I don't really want to go. Everyone gets so excited when I tell them, but really, I'm not going to have fun. Plus, I hear it's very very cold even there now. Blah, I keep having urges to cut. And to purge too, not that I ever have. One day I'm going to be a full out bulimic, I know it. Well, still haven't heard from Jim. Oh well, I'm not going to call him, cause I want to see if he ever calls me again. The ends of my fingers look a bit red/purpelish. Maybe I should try to get warm.
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