Date: Dec. 11, 2003 Time: 7:06 PM My current mood is: He said it, oh god, he said it Today was odd. Jon slept over last night, then went to therapy. When he came back he started acting weird, like he was mad at me. So then I got mad at him cause he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Finally he told me, he was frustrated about both the love thing and my lack of sex drive. I guess his therapist remarked that just cause I don't want to have sex, she sees no reason that we can't still make out. That kind of bothered me, cause it's not like I don't kiss/hug him and stuff, but doing more then that is sexual, and I HAVE NO SEX DRIVE. Anyway. So he also brought up about the word "love", saying how he's frustrated that I won't ever talk with him about it. So we talked about both those things for a bit, made up, then he rubbed my feet to make up for being bitchy :) Then we talked some more, and my dad came home and asked if it was his day off today, Jon said yes. My dad responded "So this is how you want to spend it?" sarcasticly, meaning with me... isn't that so rude?? Like hanging out with me's a bad thing apparently. Whatever. Jon went out again, and when he came back he gave me a rose! Then he said he was taking me somewhere that was a surprise. He took me to "our hotel", where there was a dozen roses on the bed! Then he sat me down and told me he loved me! I said it back. He kept wanting to say it again and again, but it made me nervous. I'm kinda freaked inside. I mean I do care about him a lot, but just the words themselves... eep! I don't know what my problem is, I'm just so phobic of the word "love". Anyway, after that we went out to eat, where Jon started getting all anxious(he gets anxiety attacks). I kept telling him it was ok though, and he calmed down. I think we're both freaked out about it. Neither of us are all that normal lol. It just seems so easy for other people to say. For me it's like, I don't know. Maybe it will get easier as we say it more. For right now I'm freaked. Part of me wants to run away from him. But can't do that, after I work on my papers, we're going back to the hotel room and spending the night. I wish I wasn't so anxious. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: