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Date: Sept. 14, 2002
Time: 2:19 AM My current mood is:
Closure on the topic of my ass The preparation for it sucked. I had to fast and drink this god awful perscribed lax stuff, it tasted so gross I couldn't even finish it all. I thought I might kinda enjoy the fast, going back to my days of starvation, but I wanted to binge/purge SO BAD!! So after I got home today I ate and threw up 4 times, I was going to purge a 5th time but I'm just too goddamn lazy too. Plus I kinda started to try to but my throat kind of hurts. Eh, fuck it. Tomorrow starts the REAL day of my diet, as opposed to every other time I say that then end up being to lazy to do anything. My Xenadrine pills came finally, next time I'm going to buy them at Walmart, I heard they're cheap there! As far as puking goes, I really need to cut down, I mean I can't even feel the hemrrhoids but it's proof that I'm fucking up my digestive tract, I've never had problems like that till I started starving/puking. And anyone else who does that, you know what I'm talking about! You people who eat normal... give yourself a pat on the back. At least YOU can go to the bathroom normally, unlike us ED'd people! So I'm going to try to have more fiber, and keep more food down, but obviously not enough to gain or even maintain. The thing is, I'm not sure if I should start taking fiber suppliments right away or if I should wait, since even keeping down 500 calories worth of food may be a huge jump in fiber(not used to keeping that much down). If I can even just keep my purging down to once a day, and keep some other food down, it will be much better for me. |
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