Date: Mar. 31, 2002 Time: 6:10 PM My current mood is: Freeway 2 Sorry if my last entry was a little confusing as Anaschild pointed out, sometimes I tend to not make sense(as people often tell me!). Basicly, John was telling me about how his roommate has an ED. He then said how he found pro-ana sites on her computer. He doesn't know I have an ED, so I (as usual) pretended to be clueless about all that stuff. I feel like I should tell her though, even though I've never talked to her before, I mean would that be weird? If someone you've never talked to called you up and warned you that your roommates are looking at your pro-ana sites.... Also, what if she told John about me? Then what? In other news, last night I went to a National Athiests Convention! What an odd way to spend a Saturday night. At the begining some guy came up to us and was like "Now I don't want you guys disrupting things or being loud, blah blah blah" HELLO we are not 5 years old! Geez! Everyone there were 40 year olds in suits. After that, we went to Mike's and watched Freeway 2. The whole movie the girl binges and purges! They even do a group binge/purge session, passing a bucket around! Weird! The movie was totally triggering though, well maybe not the movie but more my friends reaction to it. Actually it was just Mike's reaction, cause he's a guy, obviously a girl wouldn't say something bad about that cause so many girls purge. But anyway, so during the parts where she'd binge he's say "Gross!!" and saying how he couldn't understand that, binging and purging. It made me never want to eat again! He's right, binging is gross, and I bet if he saw me binge he'd never want to hang out with me again. Then they started discussing the vomitoriums of Rome, and how they would all eat then puke, so they could eat again. Mike's like "They were gluttons" in a disgusted tone. Made me feel reeeeaaaaal great. I haven't purged in a few months, but that still hurts me. I hate how people think of bulimia like that, like someoneis a bad person for doing it, and that they are disgusting and a pig. It's NOT like that.....I mean yes it is kind of gross but I wish people wouldn't look down on bulimics, like they are horrible people. Well anyway, my dad went out to eat for chinese food tonight, fortunatly I was at work so I couldn't join him, I'm just afraid he might have left overs in the fridge so I refuse to even go in the kitchen! What if I eat it or something? It's safer just to not eat at all. All last week I ended up binging and eating normal constantly, so now I am back up to 109lbs again. But over the weekend I went back to restricting, thank god!! Uff, I'm gross gross gross. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: