Date: Apr. 25, 2002 Time: 2:10 AM My current mood is: Why oh why does sleep elude me? Man I've been having the hardest time sleeping lately, it really sucks. I just tried sleeping for the past hour and a half with no luck. Combine that with early morning waking for no reason...bad combination! Today pretty much sucked, was depressed the whole day. Had a therapy appointment and was talked to about setting a hospitalization weight(a weight that if I go under I get hospitalized). Going to a hospital would be scary....but not as scary as having to tell my dad about it. He would be so angry and dissapointed in me. I'm such a burdon. I wonder how people go about setting hospitalization weights....I mean does a docter just pick some random number? Is there some percentege you can't go below? Who knows. I have a 6 page paper due tomorrow, and I haven't done it. I was meaning to do it all today(I am a master of procrastination!) but didn't count on this being an "off" day. Damn unpredictable depression....why can't you come on a scheduale or something?? Not like I'm particularily joyful normally, just some days are worse then others inexplicably. A question to myself...what the fuck is up with me thinking about cutting myself like every single day?? GET OVER IT! I don't cut anymore, I refuse to, I WON'T. So why even bother to think about it, why have images of slicing and dicing myself float through my mind? What a stupid thing to do, think about something that I'm NOT going to do. So once again, self, GET OVER IT! Tommorow(well actually later on today, it's technicly Thursday now) I am being forced to go out to eat! Damn. I feel bad, I shouldn't be upset about that, cause I will be seeing friends of the family who I have known my whole life and are like family to me. I haven't seen them in forever, even though they just live down the street. Well that's about all, didn't do anything interesting today. Leave a message Last Entry ~ Next Entry Enter email to occasionally get special or pointless updates: