Date: Feb. 19, 2002
Time: 12:51 AM
My current mood is:
Ok I give up.
Christopher was over, he just left. It was cool, he kept holding me in his arms tonight and hugging me. Each time he hugged me I held on for dear life, feeling at any moment he would pull away and disappear. I felt like a sponge, soaking up as much affection as I could. It felt so nice! Oh and by the way, he's NOT bisexual! LOL! It was so funny, cause when we went clubbing the other night, we were talking about this transvestite that was there and how you could not tell it was a guy. He said "So what would you do if you were making out with someone and half way through realized it was a girl?" I laughed and said I don't know, and asked him, he said "I would stop, I couldn't make out with a guy!". I was like "umm.....so you're NOT bi??" He was surprised and I said how he was saying before how Tom Cruise was hot and stuff, I just assumed he was bi, but oh well he's not. Also the other night Christopher said "Relationships suck, love sucks." Hey, only I'm allowed to say that! It's weird, cause I say that yet when he said that I felt bad, I only say love sucks cause I have none. So today I realized how disgustingly fat I've become. I have to lose weight, I have to!!! My god, I'm chubby and nasty I can't take it! I don't know what happened, I mean I've been teetering over the edge with the weight stuff but today for some reason I think I finally fell. Today all I ate was a personal size thin crust pizza. I wonder how many calories? Oh, and I had a huge glass and a half of light beer. Oh that is too much, I know it's over 1,000 cals. I just can't stand being over 100lbs anymore. I'm so FAT!!!!
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