Date: Dec. 05, 2001
Time: 11:54 PM
My current mood is:
saw Julie today
All this purging, I feel like shit. The past couple days I've been doing it up to like 7 times a day I think, today less because I worked all day. But the night is not over. I skipped my classes today because I overslept, due to the purging. This is too much. Julie came into my work today, it was weird cause I haven't seen her in like a month. Ever since she got married I never see her anymore. I feel awkward now when I see her. She told me that she lost 30lbs, and how her docters kept asking if she is starving herself, but she's not she's just eating healthy. Dave wants a telescope that is $300 for Christmas, that greedy bastard, how is she supposed to afford that? After she left I became really depressed, I'm such a loser, why why why am I so FAT?! She can lose 30lbs, yet I can't lose 8. What's wrong with me? Why do I allow to show myself in public? Why am I a size 1 and still fat? I felt like I was going to pass out today at work. Everytime I bend down then stand up, I get all dizzy, I mean that's normal, but this time I felt cold all over too. I was ok though. I wish I could eat something right now, and not purge it. But that is impossible...isn't that sad?
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