Date: 2001-04-29
Time: 10:36 p.m.
My current mood is:
hangin' in SI land
Ok I just have to vent about this, I'M TOO EASY ON MYSELF! Geez, just looking down at my "cuts", I'm not even fucking bleeding. They're just scratches. It used to just be about the pain, I didn't care whether I drew blood or not. It was just to hurt myself. But now it's turning into how it looks....like if it's not bleeding, it pisses me off. I feel like a wuse. I need to see cuts, bleeding, scars! It's like I'm turning into a perfectionist about it. Like I have to cut deep enough, or else I didn't do it right, not perfectly. I feel like there's always someone out there who has cut deeper then me, which realisticly is true, so no matter how deep I cut, I'm still not as deep as someone else. Oh well. I think later on tonight I will cut deeper.
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