Date: 2001-04-26
Time: 7:02 p.m.
My current mood is:
cookies part 2: the return
Well, I went on the march the other day. Except I only went to part of it, which sucks because I was really looking forward to being there the whole time. The reason was because of this girl.... I first saw her that night at dinner. I was eating a bowl of dry cereal. I saw her, and oh my god, she's SO THIN!!! She was wearing a tank top, so I could see how thin her shoulders were and arms. Her upper arms were the same size as her lower!!! She must have been ana, or at least have some type of problem. So when I saw her at dinner, I just couldn't eat, I must have had like 1/4 a cup of cereal, I just felt to fat to eat. So then we went to the march, and she was there!!! Goddamnit! The whole time we were marching, all I could do was stare at her and feel so fat and gross. I got all depressed, and ended up leaving and hanging out with John while he did his radio show. I looked in the mirror though, and I'M SO FAT!! It seemed as if suddenly after seeing that girl, I gained 20lbs! Yuck! Well anyway, stupid me just ate 4-5 cookies. I've been doing pretty well all week, except for Monday I think, but since then I've been eating barely anything. Damn cookies. Hopefully I can just ignore it and not eat any more. I weighed myself, and I only lost 1lb!! Since Monday! How unfair. I need to lose weight so bad, I wish it would all come off in one day. I've been so exhausted the past couple days, all I've been doing is lie in bed. Today I tried to do Tae Bo but I was just too weak to do it.
Well, I'm still mad at Jim. Actually, I don't think I wrote down that I was mad at him before. Well basicly he said he didn't want to hang out with me anymore, asshole!!! So anyway, he called me up a few days ago, and I told him he's an asshole and hungup on him. Geez. I hate when he's like this, he gets into these moods where he doesn't hang out with me for a while and I feel like he hates me, then he'll act like nothings wrong. When I said to him he was an asshole for saying that, he acted all "What do you mean? What are you talking about?" Fuck that! He's always so evasive. So I dunno, I hope he calls me again, so that we can make up, cause I'm not calling him.
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